lucy

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 04:29:26 GMT

what the hell is wrong with our country
if howard is australian i am an alien

hah, that rhymed.

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 12:21:46 GMT

today was weird.
it was horrible- but great at the same time. well not great, nice.
i really cant explain the feeling of seeing so many familiar faces from so long ago.
all my mums old choir friends were there. even the girl who used to babysit me at choir practice was tehre. even the boy i used to have fights with and play with at choir practice was there. he cam up t me and said hi. i was like, hiii [dad who the fuck is this wacko] and dads like OMG MARCUS, WOW YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT! SO MUCH OLDER. which would make sense now wouldnt it. i havent seen him for at least 10 years.

somehow i dont realy think its hit me, i mean, ive been upset, but i feel as if it should have triggered something off in me and i should be on the rocks wallowing. but im not. i think my mind is trying to block it out so that i stay sane. so that i dont lose the plot, cos i was already on the edge beforehand and it would be so hard to get by when all my life really consists of is seeing people i dont really know, or more to the point, dont really know me-whichmeans one little weird thing and they could think im a fcking weirdo, these people for a few hours a day, then transport by myself. then hometime by myself. thats the majority anyway. and weekend saturday nights where i have a burst of drunkness and socialising with my familiars. but it doesnt really seem to be the same anymore.

anyway today was kind of surreal, and i think thats why im so 'fine', but it was so nice to be amongst those familiar faces and sing familiar childhod songs.with some people ive known for so long but havent seen for so long next to them all, like id grown up with it around me, and now instead of being on the side watching my parents and their friends, im standing in that crowd of singers with them.its ncie to know somethings havent changed. that what i used to have when i was little is still there, im just not seeing it. i hate crying in front of people. but i guess sometimes thats just the way it is.

and in some ways i hate coming home and being alone, but maybe i like being by myself, cos ive gotten more used to it. but there isnt a day that goes past where i cant helpp but feel unresolved.

share teh love i say. dont pinpoint it.

the end of the world of lucy, i knw people like to 'skim' read my posts when they are long so better make the last sentence good yeah?
fuck it. dont waste your envergy on something your not warmed towards. there you go.

rock stars rock on

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 08:00:29 GMT

this is my G.

i interviewed her today-
i asked her who her favourite rockstar was and she said 'YOU"

.....eeeexcellentttt...

the end.

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 13:00:55 GMT

welcome.
welcome to moday.

mayday for tuesday.
fuck im feeeeeeeeling strange today. weird like Zzzzzing ababababababaabbaba rah rha whatever.

and now im home. i am not yet acustomed to spending so much time silent ( public transport commences once again) behaviour that now im home, and after one fucked up strong ass coffe from a shop i will refrain from mentioning so that maybe one of you (apart from tee who witnessed it) will once go there unknowingly and innocently to buy a coffee soon after experiencing the effects of their coffes PSYCHO INSANENESS! ahhhhh what are you all gonna do!. hrm anyway., so after that weird coffee which made me jittery ( mahli you re lucky you werent there because if you had a butter knife you still would have tried to use it against my bouncing leg- liz i understand your obsession. its soo satisfying, although i havent reached the height of bouncing my leg insanely whilst standing- *whipes forehead* phew the 'mahli from bathurst' [note: 21st century appropration of song title 'girl from ipanema] wasnt there huh? yeah so anyway tangents aside, after that coffe, and maybe a chai at uni, a LARGE (mmmmmm....) one at that, i proceeded to make my way home, knowing that someone on big brother HAD won. and despite my lack of intrigue at the show, i was still drawn to eviction nights- needing to wee for 2 hours but being stuck on a bus with a man sitting next to me the whole trip allmost with his legs so far apart i thought how lucky i was the large spacebus window beside me wasnt an emergency push exit cos i sure would have been on the pavement i was so squished against it, [yes it continues, the meaningless babbling pointless story #1005983457...that ive craftily turned into a tangent] and finally getting to my home, busting and fucking hungry for dinner as it was 10pm and i hadnt eaten since 1230, i have exploded into a poppd bubble of fun colours and magnificent butterflies surrounding me.

dont you just WISH you were with me right now?
cos im fun today.

and the only person that gets to enjoy my company is me right now. and im trying to teach myself that being on my own is kinda fun, cos in the end is only me in this personal litle game of mine right? and so ahhh, yeah.

so continues teh constantly fluctuating saga of Hall, Lucy

finito.

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 12:18:55 GMT

ive decided im going to quit university and become a balerina.
ive told my dad, asked him what he would do if i did and he said "nothing" so i guess thats it guys...

no more art. just spinning.

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 02:04:28 GMT

today is just a little bit annoying.

i have so much work to do but cant think of which thing i should start with.

i want a fortune cookie right now. this would be quite handy.

lifes a little bit funny atm.
- in some ways i want the old back
- and in many other ways my present is making me so happy.
i cried the other days just cos i was happy. isnt that a little concerning?

anyway, i made a new song last night, in the time span of heres a chord, and ill just go to this chord, and then to this one, and badabing, i have a verse. then if i went here and here, and this little bit, i have a chorus. seriously 5 minutes it took me. somtimes ill sit for hours fucking around with my guitar and nothing of any worth comes out. this is just how my life works.

so maybe ive got enough songs to finish my cd. but maybe im not going to let it go public.

maybe im going to keep my songs to myself now. just because i can and i dont care.

and maybe im just a fuckhead.

possibly maybe. probably yes

sayonara world.

Sun, 30 May 2004 08:30:35 GMT

dont you think its funny how appropriate fortune cookies messages can be at times. of course i find it purely coincidental but its still fun.

we had chinese last night and i saw this little paper bag on the table this morning, opened it and there was one fortune cookie left ( thanks for giving me one dad) lucky i found the bag.

so mi opens it and the message says

"Your popularity increases once you express your desires"

i dont think anyone has any idea of how appropriate that is to whats on my mind and the questions im constantly asking myself at the moment.

aint that grande.

aye aye capt'n

Wed, 26 May 2004 08:27:04 GMT

sometimes i tell myself that ill go away once adn leave a lot of shit behind me.

the truth is, ill just leave my surroundings and take my shit with me to a new place.

am i stupid? yes i am.

does it matter? who cares.

all i want to do is socialise in my 'newish' surroundings

work sucks.

and it is not my friend. yet i am forced to socialise with it.

tomorrows jsut another day hey? including my fucked drawing class. what a crock of shit.

hopefully tomorrow will turn out more to my high expectations than today did.

tra la la laaah

Tue, 18 May 2004 19:32:33 GMT

Goodmorning everybody!

i just happened to be stolling past the computer whilst eating my breakfast and thought, HELLO!!
and thats it....

mi is going to popstars tonight thanks to darling kat....

so yeah....first i have to attend presentation techniques and modelmaking,,,, and maybe a bit of shopping on oxford or crown st.. we shall see..

mk bye bye my lovelys

Wed, 12 May 2004 12:03:56 GMT

once upon a summer morning, there was a small elf-child called elwina.
she had a small, button nose, large green eyes and soft pointy ears.
one day she woke from sleeping and say.

w0rd to my lions and tigers
and that was all. there isnt any more.

did i tell you that the other day, i kept falling asleep on the bus, and then id wake up when we went over a bumpy section in the road cos my head would smack against the little black plastic window opener thing... i did it like 3 times... and each time id like jump awake cos the bang to my head would scare me... was pretty funny, im sure the man sitting behind me had an amusing bus ride... in fact i think he was the guy tat got off ad smiled at me when he walked past me... hehe oh well.... then the clouds closed in and mars shot through like a bullet singing alawetta, jonti alawetta. ( oh how ausralian that spelling really is...)

and other than that, lucy has a lot of work.
a bitch of a drawing teacher she must face tomorrow morning
a hell of a bunch of assignments in th next 3 weeks
and many other bountiful adventures hmm?

im hungry. but i must now sleep. i think i made it thought a wednesday quite well considering my awakening this morning. aint that a grande fact.
indeed so they say.

goodnight small glowing insectile beings.

Sun, 09 May 2004 07:33:58 GMT

long time no see journal.

thought id update on life.
well its mothers day and i rang my nan to say hey, happ mothers day nan, and anyway, she was like.. so what ha you been up to and i couldnt answer her, i mean i could but, its like ive been doing more social stuff but not enough to say ive been doing that heaps, and ive been going to uni, but not doing enough stuff to say ive been doing that, and then im not doing enough of nothing to say ive been doing nothing... its weird...

i want my own computer, i dont like the fact my dad can look at all my music files on his laptop, i tried putting a password on the folder but it just didnt work... ive started playin around with loops and stuff and making random songs and its pretty fun, yeha. tats all. nothing much to report on the music front. nothing i want to reveal at this moment anyway huh?

i swear every time ive got heaps of uni work, i wanna do music stuff, but i know as soon as i get the time to, i wont feel like doing it... ad at themoment its worse cos i really want to do music stuff, and i have a bit of time, but im sick and my voice sounds quite shit so there goes that idea, hence the starting of loop songs where i make my voice sound like background stuff and you cant tell its shit as easily... hahaa.. : ) other than that lifes quite contently sailing along huh...

hehe on a similar note, i always play bee bee my new songs.. its pretty funny... and shes like, mum! come listen to this... and ah, yeah.... see ya hey? haha...um yeah...

hmmmm my dads pissing me off.... when im in those open minded moods and im like, dad come listen to what ive recorded, and ill end up playing him songs, ugh he just says the mst annoying things...

"yeah i like that one, its good, i mena it could be better, theres a few things you could fix up..." um alright david.

anyway, complete tangent to things i was gonna blab about.. but who cares... and now ive forgotten what i really was gonna talk about..... fuck, I hav so much homework for my drawing classa nd i dont want to do it.
i have to do a 360 degree view of some place in cofa, cant remember but fuck. what a crock of shit i say.
mk my moods going weird, im gonna piss off...
see ya gentlemen

Sat, 03 Apr 2004 11:33:10 GMT

today went sooooo damn quickly,

the first 3 hours were really slow, and i was looking at the clock every 5 minutes thinkin meh meh mehhhhh
and then this hourd of people all came at teh same time.. seriously the cafe is pretty small but there were wait let me count... 15 people in there at once and i had to serve all of them myself!! all coffes, biscuits, FOOD fucking food, like turkish sandwiches and this mushroom stuff and ahhh!!! and THEN

fatty vaughton (??) came in with his wife, and i was so scared cos id ust taken an order from there women who wanted full on food and then all fatty and wifo wanted was coffe and banana bread and so tehy were sitting out there for at least 15 before i got to them and i was like AHHHHHHHH . and then i got over it.. ummmmm yeah, and then there was all this water at teh bottom of the fridge and i was like excuse me where did you come from, and then i later realised that the fridge is beign an asshole and had FROZEN ( is it not a fridge? not a freeeeezer?) 3 thats right 3 different botles of mineral water up the back and glass had shattered everywhere which the ice melted again and became water... and IIIIIIII had to clear it alll up. and it was horrid and i think i have glass in my hand.

yep uhuh thats right. and now im being a good little child and staying home doing my assessments...

so tehres my story. i think i had something funny to say but i really cant remember it at all. oh YEAH.

mk so dad came into the cafe today to have coffee and hes like.. rah rah had to buy some presents today and i waslike who for, and he told me his list which included angus, wendys sisters son, cos apparently its his bday, ANYWAY

so ends up, ( hes like a year younger than bee bee) his birthday is today or something and hes having party but we werent invited, like wendy and dad and bee and the child ( which is apparently called Astrid now, thanks for telling me it was FINAL) none of us, to his bday party, the rest of teh family was but sarah( wendys sister) told Helen ( sarah and wendys mum) to tell wendy that she couldnt handle having a baby around her atm cos she cant have another i dont think dont know why and it gets to her wendy having one or something, so WE ARENT INVITED TO THE KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA

the whole family is fucking coocooo. (fucked up)

wateverrrrrrrr huh.

yiha watever.

Wed, 31 Mar 2004 13:02:45 GMT

smeagol has entered my life... hes a bit slow but i still love him.
his microphone isnt too good, actually its a piece of shit, but ill jus have to attach another to him, hes still pretty though,

said yo dadda wassup tonight and he said nuhin lu, im jus' chillin' with me wa an' me dota's

and i said aint that dandy. i have a funny story to tel you all.

today i got on a space bus ( one of the new busses to all yo technophobes) and u know how they can lower and raise them for wheelchair access?

well, this bus was particularly high today, and instead of mounting it from the kirb, me and alex had to go onto a bit of the street to get up, so, i realise it was a bit high and thought right, gotta pull me leg upa bit higher this time for the step, so i did, but alas, us hobitses still have very short legs, and i STILL managed to miss the top of the step and link my toes under the art i was supposed to stand on, so i fell onto my hands and knees at the front of the bus where it says no standing, also making a really fucking loud WOOAHHHHHHHHH! like a really hgh pitched one, who knows why, and i dont know why i did it so loud..

anyway, so it would have been all good, maybe 2 pople on the bus and the bus driver might have seen... and alex, cos that bus isnt usually very packed... but when its 730 in the morning, theres a lot and i mean A LOT of private school kids going to school, so this time the bus was packed and i got burnt and wasnt it a funny experience!! and the driver just asked me monotonously if i was okay, and alex just kinda looked at me and smiled, no "BAHAHA LUCE" fr me to reply which "baha oh well shutup" and be done with it, i had to laugh to myself as if i didnt care and walk calml onto the bus after just removing myself from the bus floor.

i bet you alllll wish you were tere now dont ou,
yes it is indeed a pity, oh what a pity indeed.

im tired right now, i fell asleep vaguely on the bus this morning on the WAY to uni, ( i thought that was only supposed to happen on the way home!?) and i was so scared id miss my stop!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!! but i didnt sailors, i suck on board until me hearties here was ready to depart.

aye aye captains and doobi doop maidens ill be seein yez in the next few weeks ayeerrrgh...

oh yeah another funny thing, i was in modelmaking, and i was gluing 2 pieces of perspex together and it fucked up and i mubled under my breath, arrgh.. and the girl next o me stops what she was doing, looks up at me and goes "did you just say arrgh like a pirate?" HAH it was kinda funny. aye aye cap'n ( actually that last bit was a lie... about teh captain thing, but she really did say that to me. how fundidillyundidilly.

and now its time for noddy and i to say goodnight,
we're tired and sleep and nodding our heads
we're ready to curl ourselves up in bed and see wat tomorrow brings

oh noddy noddy noddy!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 09:11:50 GMT

i left the house pitch black today, and returned at nearly the same darkness,
i also left the house with $9 failing to find anymore and not knowing id have to spend $3 of it on perspec for modelmaking.
im tired, really tired, now im home and i have to mount my stupid drawings on mount board for design studio, create a texture swatch for stupid drawing teacher and make an origami tesselation for design studio..

funk ji la la

i want chocolate and sleeep, and bed!!!!!!!!!!

i need a holiday already, there hasnt been one night this wek where ive come home and been in a good mood, its just not possible anymore. im a sour cold hearted child trudging along the road of flux hmm?
nothing more nothing less.

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 09:14:02 GMT

somethings wrong with me.. ive one a bit coocoo...

ive been on the verge of crying all throgh amercan idol cos some of them are just so good and cos im just in an emo loser mood. i LOVE george on idol, that slow scalic descend he always seems to do just melts my heart..... ugh.. and all teh gospel ones... mmm

music is lifeso havent done enough work this weekend..
oh well
and to add to it,
who the fuck can pull off aretha that well at fucking 16. im talking about diana, havent seen her before this and shes fucking good...hrmmm

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 10:32:56 GMT

WHERE THE HELL IS SECRET LIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT TEH HELL IS GOING ON!

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 12:00:13 GMT

i think seeing 4 different huntsmans in 2 days ( 2 of which were as big as mammoths.. ) seriously, they could wrap themselves around a tennis ball. its like avalon has its own special 'individual' species. seriously its like big and ungly. quite appropriate for the type of people in the area huh, except for me. an the child i keep semi- sane, without her mother noticing. *beatrix, shhh, listen, avalon is BAD, bad i tell you.....*

and aslo.

i like nikki on secret life. i like her evilness. shes my favourite.
and ahhhh, yeh, so ahhh yeah.

i just spent about 3 hours doing some online uni tutorial. how BORING. but i do feel somewhat more scholarly.
and tired.

5 am start this morning! agghhhhh it was still dark when i left the house, and the street lights dont come on til like 6am, im presuming cos some shit avalon person complained about the light. um why. oay, maybe i made that bit up.

tomorrow is vulgar. 3 hours all by my little self cos carleen is horrid. *prods you* you will pay.... mwahaha hmmm.... another day right... hehe oh we laugh and we sit and we eat and we laugh some more do we not? we are funness.

today i saw kate. it was great.

goodbye for today

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 01:11:01 GMT

at what point in time do we stop growing up. ?

an then is there a period of just being and then do you start growing down?

row row row your boat
gently down the lane

merrily merrily merrily merrily

life is but a game

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 08:52:31 GMT

im just a bit pissed off at the avalon music store.
today was fun, but if i look close it was fucked.
starting, i went to CoFA for o week stuff and today they had my faculty welcome shit with everyone doing my course and stuff about it ect, and in the schedule they sent me it said 12, but when we got there it had been going for an hour and apparently started at 11, nyway, most people didnt go cos there was like 10 people in there.
so there was a day i went to CoFA for seemingly pointless reasons apart from meeting liz carleen and am which was extra cool, and the free lunch with the cooel semolina thing,
THEN we went to newtown which was good, and i bought 3 singlety things fr $35 all up and i was like ohh my god, quite sporadic buys, like me always i never try things on and cos they were cheap i couldnt be bothered to eve more.
so we get to wynyard and our train pass had expired cos we were sposed to get off at central, then the bus was soooooooo long, but it was okay cos tee was there with me, then it was pouring when i got to av and had to walk in the rain and the music shop had already shut so i couldnt go and yell at them, then i came home and had a letter from UNSW rubbing it in that i hadnt been given a scholarship. and i was hungry.

i tried on two of my tops and one is extremely too big cos its a guys singlet and i didnt realise, i only took notice of the material print and cos of those weird japanese labels i couldnt find the sizing, and the other was too small cos the japanese make things small for their notoriously small girlies!
and i didnt try the other on cos i was just pissed off.
but im still in a good mood,

if a clown came into teh room and did a funny dance i would still laugh, although if someone were to piss me off id probably smack you across the head. so maybe not.
all i need is tee-fun, chocolate, warmth, and a movie.
and a car that works so im not stranded on a still-land island such as avalone

argin shmargin

on a more important note.
PEOPLE WHO WANNA COME TO GEORGE ON FRIDAY!

its $28.50

$20 for me cos im great.

so, i hope you will still come even though it costs,
but wehn you think about it, when you really think about it. thats mother cheap for a concert so stop complaining..

what, what are you looking at, so what. : P

why do i need a subkect?

Thu, 19 Feb 2004 09:02:39 GMT

what i want to know is

spiders and in this case, huntsmans, we see them everywhere,
sitting, running, slowly creeping without a sound. but the question is, do they have a home?
are they in fact the 'homeles' species of spiders?
are they the malfunctioning web-making species of spiders?

i mean really, when was the last time you saw a spiders web and you say a huntsman in it.
thats what i want to know.

and they must have sme weird customs, you walk around the city and people are asking for money,

i wonder if huntsmans are hunting for a home,
or trying to find smaller or just more web- equipped spiders to create a home for them to share the joys of homelife too, but does any sane spider have the time to build a house for an unwanted huntsman? no. does any human have time to build a homeless a home?
not that ive come across but maybe, maybe our species is just more generous.

but instead these stupid persistent spiders crawl around my room, and on the walls forcing me to stand on tables and climb around the room on the furniture like theres a splunk on the floor or something.

i wonder if the get bullied or discriminated against.

cos if they do that just aint nice.

huntsmans,
really who the hell knows.

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 08:16:21 GMT

why is it that i cannot succeed in finding a job?
i JUST want a job.

im actually sick of sitting around with nothing at all to do all day every day.
i get excited by plans
i get excited by the idea of having something that is so routine that i get home at the end of the day and am completely sick of it that i consider crawling away so noone in charge can find me.

i get excited about the idea of INDEPENDENCE and not having to scam money off my dad

because i have none of my own anymore.

because i dont have a job.

because avalon is fucked and noone will hire me.

and THEN, when i feel that all is gong to fall apart and im going to be a bum on the streets for the rest of my life, i get a call from a cool book shop about a job in the cafe out the back.
and so i go for a talk and after 20 miutes of acting very self sufficient, mature, calm and composed and 'able' to fulfil their specific requirements for the job, she mentions my wednesday off for uni,

what wednesday off for uni?
i have a 5 day schedule cos my course is just... a bit i dont know.
and so after finding someone who starts to boost my completely crushed ego up about how she thinks ill be able to handle the job,
i get a sorry, we are loking for someone who can do full week days.

fuck.

today has been shit,
apart from getting the net back!
and what i nice start it is!

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 14:11:34 GMT

it was my birthday And i will still cry if i want to
: )

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 06:13:22 GMT

im back.

and fourth

::

Wed, 19 Nov 2003 03:30:46 GMT

i thought id tell you all a story:something called somewhere, somewhere over there just on that other side near the corner of the speakers.
i can hear this voice and theres another.
one is cold and harsh and one is like soft comfort.

its breath squirming and slithering through the air to my throat and wraping itself around me and down into my chest through my heart making me feel like a real object.

i can hear murmurs all around my head:small and agitating. leave me alone

if the air was as thick as water i dont think i could run very fast. i cant run very fast anyway.

there is this weird filter in my eyes that enhances colour.
green is soo damn green.
all the different shades from the shaded areas to the sections brightened by light.

go on i tell you its alright.

go on please tell me your fine

still real aren't we.
still and real at the same time.

it intrigues me

im getting agitated at my boredom yet my wanting to be allll alone. dont come near me. actually come and we can play games.

leave me alone. actually talk to me.

wait til tomorrow. actually how bout now.

doesnt matter how far you go.
you've always got further to go.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Thu, 06 Nov 2003 00:06:34 GMT

oh my god shea is annoying.
i send him an email asking aboutvarious stuff for ext. on friday, and he replies by inserting various unnoticable 'yes' words everywhere. but because ive asked so many things prior to his yes, i cant tell what hes referring to.
very unclarifying.
very confusing.
he sent me some convo of him and boris.
VERY confusing.
i cant tell when shea is talking and when boris is talking.
and now im confused
i think shea told me not to use a dolls house but i CANT bear to change my text now.
not NOW. maybe if he had emailed me a bit earlier.
or maybe if id emailed him a bit earlier, hahahaah

24 1/2 hours.